"What happened to her?" he enquired."Ah, she's gone back to the States. She was only over in Europe on a gap year from college."Now that wasn't really an untruth. Codi had been intending to return to college, until we'd started talking about marriage. Now that I was out of the picture, I thought that it was safe to assume that she'd return to her original plan. It would also cover my arse quite nicely in the rumour mill."You going back to that Pub of yours up on the Broads, Mack?" Yeah, that's the basic plan." I heard that you were the manager there. How come you got the time off to go gallivanting around the Med?" Nah, I was just a barman, but I enjoyed myself working there." Well, if you can live on the money, that's what you really want; a job that you enjoy doing. Shit, I hate getting up most mornings when all I've got to look forward to is that fucking office. Wish I had the guts to do what you did and just chuck it all in and find a job I enjoyed doing; even if the money was. “Well,” said the old man, “I can give you the best advice that I was given as a young’un.”“Get a piece of string, a Hapenny and some sticky tape. Stick it to the left side of your body with the coin level with your hip bone. Then every night for half an hour stand and hit the coin with your hipbone flicking your hip sideways. Come back next week and I tell you what to do next.”So off the young lad went and every night he practiced,’Hapenny, Hapenny, Hapenny’ in his mind. The next week he went to the old man again, “This time stick a Penny down to your right hip, then it’s Hapenny, Penny, Hapenny, Penny. And see me again next week.”And again the young man practiced, ‘Hapenny, Penny, Hapenny, Penny.’A week went by and again he went to see the old man.“Now stick a Sixpence down till it touches your Asshole and it’s Hapenny, Penny Sixpence, Hapenny, Penny, Sixpence see me again in a week.”Again the young lad practices, Hapenny, Penny, Sixpence, Hapenny, Penny, Sixpence.Back to the old man.
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